It’s a normal thing to get a wedding invitation card from someone you only know at work; whether you often talk to them or not. Sometimes we declare a month to be “wedding season” month whenever those cards are given to you in close dates. It means coming to the party or pass the gifts through people who plan to came to the party. Also means money to spend and with whom you would share the money for gift buying. I’ve been all too familiar with these things for over a year.
Talking about the bride and groom’s wannabes are most common after cards are recieved. I could almost memorize some of them, oh they’re so fitting in the picture, the girl doesn’t look that different in pre-wed photos, is that the groom? He is blah blah blah. I feel like being surrounded in some contest and wonder if they would do the same thing with my invitation card. This year I’m going to be 24 and most girls my age already got one or two children in that age. Indonesians are also too much about age, especially girls. Talking about in what age you’re going to marry is never old. So at every wedding season I’d be one to example in their discussion. Somehow I knew I don’t need to wonder what kind of discussion would be made over my wedding invitation card. LOL.
Then there’s a talk about how an ethnicity will hold a wedding ceremony and the process of its ritual. I realized that Indonesians all about everything when it comes to marriage; we hold such principle that marriage is only once for life so it must be celebrated as big as possible. You won’t want to go through those tiring ritual processes anyway, so why having it more than once? Lampung society for example, at least in our knowledge is popular with its wedding ritual. There’s a saying that if you want to marry a Lampung girl, you need a hella big amount of “wedding budget”. It’s mostly mistaken as “buying bride” act, which for me is kind of uncomfortable to talk. Non-Lampung people tend to ask about it to me that I even had to make a whole presentation when I was in college to explain the actual purpose and reason behind Lampung wedding ceremony and ritual. If asked, I never think highly about how I should hold a wedding ceremony. Of course I would be happy to have a big party, but why bother to get one if you’d be in high debt after that. I would prefer having a small, private, intimate wedding party than a big, money-wasting and tiring one. Paying the debt is the last thing in my mind to worry in my should be happy days. I don’t mean to disrespect their way of, ahem, spoiling their children for the last time before they step into the new marriage life, but it’s not like parents are forced by children. For me, personally, it’s not that important at all. I never have an imagination about big wedding party, or tiring Lampung marriage ritual which will make me exhausted for days and never-ending worries about the money spent for just one-two days wedding party. I have a lot of Lampung friends and only few of them agreed with my view of wedding ceremony, as they actually have been waiting to experience such practice. It might be because of they way they’re raised in Lampung society. If some girl got big wedding ceremony, then they also have to get it too. Regadless if their parents are up for that or not. Both of my parents rarely talk about it and it’s not like I’m comfortable with the topic. Discusing about marriage with parents is really different than with friends; everything goes quite awkward and sad. With their usual wisdoms of finding the good man, saving for future and others I never really expect much from them. Dad once said I wouldn’t need to go with all those traditional rituals, which I assumed it because he and Mom never went through one. I feel grateful of that, because if they intend to do that then I would cancel my marriage. I’m the one who’s gonna marry, so it all my choices. I don’t want to be indebted in my marriage.
This month is one of those wedding season. But to be honest, kinda interesting to find some workmate will be facing one of the biggest experience in her life in counted days. Never hard to be happy for her. I just wish the cards didn’t come that much in the same week, though.