Loosen Up

I think I’ve loosen up a bit towards my classmates, and it’s a surprising thing even for me
To be honest, I’m always distant from everyone else. I’d unconsciously keep myself alone on the back of the class, answer some and that’s it. Mostly people assume I act like this because I don’t want to be their friends, or because I’m just an arrogant person who would see other people lower than herself. I can’t blame them for that, though it’s not true. In fact, I’m actually uncomfortable sitting around people in class, it just makes me feel suffocated and it’s terrifying.

I’m always asked by such common questions like, “why do you not want to get along with your friends? “why do you always walk or sit alone, not with your friends?” sometimes it’s too much for me and I’d ignore those questions. Still, I couldn’t help myself to think and even asked it to myself : why? It’s not like I don’t want to have friends at all, but there’s a moment when I just need to be left alone and not being bothered. Really, I Will hate to not have friends at all, but I can’t be forced to accept everyone easily. It’s difficult, you know.

Now it’s been a year since my first day as a college student, and I know it’s a time for me to start being “social”. My classmates had even voiced their concerns about my distant personality, so I think it’s good enough to break my transparant barrier and open up a bit. 😆 It might be hard since I’ve been like this for a long time. But I promise I try, and I am trying. 🙂